I fixed breakfast and supper, helped the kids with school while Mom was gone all day, got the hot tub back in working order, raked and hauled leaves, called into Dead Doctors Don’t Lie about my acne issue and did a few other random things. But it felt incoherent and unimportant. Really, it was, in the scope of eternity.
Jacinderella came over and we got to catch up. That’s some good stuff, whenever Jacinderella is over. Josiah asked us about practicing righteousness before men, to be seen by them. He’s really struggling with that. I’m so impressed by his transparency, his willingness to face issues head on and to admit the exact little things that are sins of the heart. Like highlighting his Bible so that when people notice him flipping through it they’ll see it and think, “Wow, he really reads his Bible.” Guilty as charged. I think it when I notice that others have marked in their Bible, and I think it sometimes in groups when I realize someone can see my Bible. He was asking how we can quit doing things to impress people. Should we quit doing those things period? The answer is “no”. We should pursue godliness, and if we are pursuing it, we won’t be able to help showing it. But it should be a working from the inside out, not just pasted onto the outside to look good. We need to keep consistently practicing righteousness when no one is watching, seeking to please the Lord, in order to prevent that man-pleaser attitude.
It’s very easy to talk about, very easy to preach, but so hard to implement! I’m forever telling on myself. I’ve even perfected the art of making myself seem unwilling to divulge this information about how spiritual I am—so that I look, not only super spiritual, but also super humble about it. I am such a hypocrite. And Jacinderella made a profound statement, when Josiah said the same thing. “You will always be a hypocrite.” It’s true. I will always be a pretender—trying to look better than I really am inside. Isn’t that why I have a password protecting this journal? Because here I am expressing myself, stripped of all the arts and crafts I use to make myself acceptable to others. Here I am, stark naked, before myself and my God.
Lord, give me the courage only
To reach out and seek Thee wholly
To please only Thee, no other
Not performing for my brother.
So Thou may receive the glory
May I ever write my story
Lighted by eternity.
What will last is done for Thee.
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