Friday, November 2, 2007

The definition of an avid journalist is someone who continually pours out their poor, misguided heart onto a page that neither feels their pain nor rejoices in their pleasure and will never, ever write them back.

I am the definition of an avid journalist.

But somehow, through the unresponsive and therefore nonjudgmental “listening” provided by this unwitting page, I can come to terms with myself, my faults and my future plans of action.

An ugly sin of negligence has come to light in my heart. I try to please my father, and fail. But I never even give my mother the least attempt at pleasure. She’s always priority number two on my list, and because I never accomplish priority number one, she never is honored. But God has commanded me to honor my father AND my mother. Not my father first, and then my mother if I have enough honoring left in me.

How can I, who cannot honor and please my father and mother, who I can see, ever hope to please my God and Father whom I cannot see?

Tonight I ask the Lord, “What would You like me to do?”

The answer is clear: Tomorrow I will ask each parent, “What would you like me to do?”

Asking is the easy part. Tomorrow, I must cheerfully obey.

Lord, the light Thou gives is bright

My eyes of flesh can’t bear the sight.

Surrender is a painful task—

It means I do whate’er Thou ask.

And when Thou ask that I obey

It means I do whate’er they say.

It’s here that Love is put to test

For it may never, ever rest.

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