Monday, October 15, 2007

Today I successfully developed a decided distaste for fluorescent lights. Our garage is lighted by ten large fixtures and six small ones, all of which are as fickle as a teenage girl. Sometimes they shone brightly, illuminating the dark interior, then on a slight whim they’d flicker and go out. A little jiggle might bring them back to brightness, or a new bulb might leave them still a useless fixture. Putting in those bulbs proved trickier than one might guess as well. Sometimes it was all I could manage to finally get one in and twisted right, and a couple of times the bulb short circuited itself and arched, blowing a breaker.

It made me think of my spiritual life, and how unstable my light is—how unsteady and undependable I am, and how frustrating and useless that would be, both to the Lord and to someone groping in the dark. Just a flicker now and then? Or a weak light? I’ve got to keep moving, seeking that connection with the Lord to stay burning brightly.

I was also struck by how important it was that both lightbulbs be good. In a fluorescent light fixture, there is often room for two bulbs, but both must be good bulbs. If only one is bad, neither will shine. I was struck with the similarity to the partnerships warned of by Paul—what partnership has light with darkness? A believer can’t be yoked with an unbeliever. The good bulb can’t burn for both, but the bad bulb will bring darkness to both.

We have finally brought some order to the chaos that was our garage. The floor is finally visible and things are beginning to be grouped into piles of “like” items.

Josiah and I were loading up the old freezer that was left here when Jacinda showed up for a brief visit. As Josiah lifted up the freezer, it tipped backward, trapping my finger between the heavyweight of the freezer and the surprising solidity of the concrete. This less than pleasant experience brought from me a series of helpless yelps which Josiah incorrectly interpreted as silliness for Jacinda’s benefit. By the fourth yelp, he realized my funny sounds were really inspired by pain, and released the freezer, to the intense relief of my finger. I’ve not yet decided if the end of it still exists.

It rained all day, and now it is very late. Through my huge glass doors I can see the yard lamp catching mist droplets in the air and on the leaves and setting them aflame. The result is a very eerie, surreal effect. It’s so beautiful, I want to wrap myself in a robe and run out across the yard. Everything is so beautiful here. The symmetry of the pine trees, the gentle slopes of the hills, the colors, polished by the rain. I love the play of light across God’s creation, revealing secret textures, colors and points of beauty.

His Spirit beautifies His children in the same way—lighting up the potential He has given us for true beauty in conformity to the image of His Son.

Lord, Thy light illuminates me

Lending me Thy perfect beauty

Causing every hidden fiber

Just to radiate Thy power.

Keep my soul transparent only

Seeking for Thy greater glory

That the world may see and ponder,

Bow before Thy throne in wonder.

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