Monday, March 24, 2008

The hair on my fingers is now gone, thanks to the leaves and trash I burned in the incinerator. I heard a sizzle in my nest of messy hair, and clapped my hand over it, fearing I’d scorched my mop right off. No such luck. A good thing, or I might have been forced to make a standard fashion from the lime green wig Lydia and Leah dolled me up in earlier.

Bidding farewell to Dathan and Bruce left us in relative quiet. “It’s hard to get away from your family,” Bruce commented, sprawled on the pew, lingering long past his planned departure time. The whole way out to his truck, he and Josiah sparred and wrestled and he threw socks at Lydia. I’d already given up on successfully stomping his feet. One would think such “love” would drive him away more quickly.

Audrey’s arrival for lunch came packaged with an interesting bit of news. Wes has accepted a job at a clinic two hours away—they’ll be moving in June. This is the Wes and Audrey who have hosted the college kids since Nathaniel’s freshman year, who prayed that we would move down here. Now they’re moving away. RussVegas won’t be the same without them. The very “things” that brought us here are slowly dwindling—just tools the Lord used to affect our move? Is our presence here only a phase?

Part of my untangling process include a lengthy e-mail to Nathaniel and Lauren. As I worked my way through my confusion, writing around in circles, the clouds of doubt and distress began to dissipate. God’s goals are not so vague as worry would have them appear. His Word proved faithful, comforting, strengthening, encouraging, exhorting and by the time I’d finished typing, my way seemed almost clear. Perhaps they, too, will have some valuable insights.

Deuteronomy wrapped up with a beautiful set of blessings from Moses, to the people of Israel, much of which was simply a reminder of God’s promises and God’s character. What a beautiful truth that God’s character, in and of itself, is a profound blessing. There is no God besides Yahweh, who puts to death and gives life, who wounds and heals, who takes hold of justice to render vengeance on those who hate Him. Ah, but the holy ones, who love Him and follow in His steps, He keeps in His hand—protected and safe. “The Eternal God is a dwelling place, and underneath are the everlasting arms.” The repetition of the concept of forever—a truth so complete, yet so completely beyond my grasp. My home is in Yahweh, Who never changes, Who is eternally the same, eternally perfect. My home is secure.

Lord, Thou art a spring of grace,
Eternal, and my dwelling place.
Within Thy hand, I take my stand
Protected from this barren land.

A single day within Thy courts
Reclaims the heart that earth distorts,
How perfect must that same heart be
That dwells with Thee eternally!