I’d barely gone to sleep last night when the phone rang. Twice. A harsher sound, I can hardly imagine. Soon I discovered that, while I was refocusing and refueling with the Creator of the Universe, He was handling some important business I’d left undone elsewhere—perfectly. As always. What an amazing multi-tasker He is. He wrapped up the rest of the issue today with beauty, precision and the ease of One Who knows what He is about.
Random observation for the day: I rediscovered why I never use recipes anymore. Mom left me with a pile of new recipes to use for weekend preparation and, to my deepest distress, the process cost me at least twice as much time.
Our “profitable discourse” (as John Bunyan would have it) tonight brought us to the question of eternity and rewards. I could barely keep from wriggling with delight, since Amber had just plied me with questions about eternity, rewards and punishments for believers a few days ago. But my joy quickly turned to horror and sorrow as we turned to Jesus’ words about practicing righteousness before men, to be seen by them—and the praise of men that is the only reward for such actions. Precious Master, I convince myself that I desire only Your praise, only Your delight, and yet I “serve” You with my head turned over my should to know if anyone saw. “Did anyone notice that wonderful thing I did?” or “The Lord allowed me to share with so-and-so today,” I confide, secretly wondering if my listener can see the halo above my head. Perhaps they also see the craft wire holding up my façade.
Wretched girl that I am, how can I be free to serve the Lord, not in pretense, but in truth?
Lord, within my heart dwells pride
Which I try desperately to hide,
But Thou who searchest heart and mind
This wicked guest will always find.
I beg Thee, Lord, to search my soul
And anywhere Thou finds a hole
By which his entrance he might make,
I beg Thee, Lord, that place to break.