Showing posts with label sisters. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sisters. Show all posts

Thursday, January 27, 2011

“Wait for Yahweh; be strong and let your heart take courage; yes, wait for Yahweh!” ~Psalm 27:14

Frankly, I really detest the hiccups. Uncontrollable, they are. And embarrassing. It’s impossible’s cousin trying to behave like a sophisticated adult and carry on an intelligent conversation when every other sentence is broken up by an insufferable “hic!”

Lydia has been leaching her amusement out of me these days. In the past, she discovered that humming or playing or singing only a few bars of a song would send me into continuous replay mode, humming it all day, entirely unaware that I was even humming it. She chose real hum-dingers of songs, too. “What are you humming?” she’ll ask, and then giggle, when I suddenly realize I’ve been busily humming “Blow the Man Down” or “Bill Grogan’s Goat” while rolling out pie crust. But the last few days she’s been giggling because, all on my own I’ve been humming two golden oldies from two ancient movies. Try “All I Want” from My Fair Lady and “If I Were a Rich Man” from Fiddler on the Roof. She thinks it’s funny because of what it suggests, I suppose. And perhaps, with the combination, all I want is a rich man. Now, wouldn’t that be lov-ely?

As technology would have it, hauling my load of internet work to the Dtown library didn’t prove very beneficial. CenturyLink apparently was experiencing technical difficulties, since their network connection was not much better than our own. I gave up on several items of business, but managed to relist everything on Ebay and discover a rather interesting message on my nanny profile.

I must confess, when I put up a profile on Care.com, it was not a very hopeful affair. Sure, I wrote a nice bit about myself in an effort to trick poor, hapless parents into believing that I am responsible, professional, capable, smart and talented. But I realized that the number of caregivers looking for work was vastly higher than the number of parents advertising for care needs. In fact, it looked like my profile was quite likely to be lost in the smelting pot of “I can take care of your kids” pages. I’d “applied” for a couple of old postings, just in case those folks hadn’t found anyone, but never expected anyone to actually find me.

Signing in today, I saw a new ad up—“Christian Family Seeking Christian Live In Nanny.” In Cville. Curious, I clicked on it and took a look. Christian. Homeschooling. Wanting like-minded nanny. Fifth child on the way. Live on a ranch. They looked like fun, but I couldn’t handle live-in, nor even full-time, and it was far enough away to make a commute not something I’d volunteer.

I clicked over to my profile and, lo and behold, Christian Family had sought me out. “Your profile caught our eye,” the message read.

Curious, I ran a search over caregivers in their area. I’ll bet it caught their eye. Standing out bold were the first few lines of my profile, declaring to the world that I was homeschooled, liked to be outside, could handle large families, etc, etc.

This one is certainly a more promising lead than the guy contacting me about tutoring for his son. English tutoring. He sounds like a second-language English speaker. His situation sounds far-fetched. He’s far too compliant. Doesn’t seem to care about the price…or how far his son would have to travel…or the fact that he’ll be in Canada and he’s never met me, done a background check or has any idea as to my qualifications. Oh! But he wants my address—my physical address, not a P.O. Box—to mail a check. And my phone number and cell phone number. Perhaps he’s for real and I’m losing a good client, but every fibre of my being shrieked “RAT!” I’m not sure what his game is. Maybe he’s an identity thief. Maybe he’s a forger. Maybe he’s a stalker. Maybe he’s a bored fourteen-year-old. I wrote him back an exorbitant price and asked for a bunch of corroborative information. Oh, and I gave him my credit card number. Just kidding.

Miss Nancy and her husband, Walt, joined us for supper. She sounded so ticked when I called the other night to invite them. She’s a super lady and a sharp cookie. Walt, too. Nancy described Berlin in the nineteen forties, where her family lived for just a year before the Berlin wall went up. She had to be air-lifted out when the threat of Russian attack forced Americans to flee. Walt experienced the war at home, in a cotton field, full of sun-burnt POWs cheerfully picking cotton by hand, glad to be away from the war and well-fed. His father, who had left home at twelve and never progressed past third grade, had become a sought-out engineer making improvements to the cotton gin.

I’ve been digging deeper and deeper into women’s health. The clockwork of the female system is a delicate balance of power and productivity. Once again, with growing understanding comes growing sadness. Because most women have no clue. And many health care providers really don’t understand the female functions, either. Because of this, women are all-to-willing to take the easy route now, cheerfully oblivious to the hard road they might encounter later. I can’t even tell you how horrible a monster, packaged in a tiny, pink pill, that birth control pill is. Yet here it stands, a pillar in so-called women’s health. A staple in the American woman’s diet. A hero in the American drama.

I swallow a sigh because I really had hoped to be studying First Peter in depth. Ryrie’s Basic Theology lies forsaken and alone on my bookshelf. And “Run, Baby, Run” whispers alluring suggestions to me, from beside it. I know if I dare to pick that book up, I will not put it down again until I have rushed through it, start to finish.

Instead, I read a few chapters in Psalms and Proverbs and scurried about my day.

Lord, it is so very hard to be in two places at once. How can I be both here and there?

One thing I asked from God, my Love,

That where He is, there I may be

That dwelling in His house above

I’ll gaze upon His majesty

And gaze, unhindered, in His face,

Where death can touch me not, nor fear,

And then in realized faith, His grace

Will be the hand that draws me near.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

“Therefore, gird your minds for action, keep sober in spirit, fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” ~1 Peter 1:13

Inadvertently, I left my laundry dangling forlornly from the clothes line tonight. I hope it doesn’t snow.

“Did you see what I did?” exuded my dear Mother, pointing to the hanging file on the study wall. I paused, noting the empty bottom section. “Did you do the budget?” She nodded, her smile stretching across my face. “You did it for me last week,” I protested. She nodded again. “I miss it.” She what?! For how many years did I watch her performing that hated task, groaning over mistakes, pecking at the computer keyboard, face-palming when an account didn’t balance properly. Not because she can’t handle money, but because she hates computers. I shook my head to be sure I’d heard her correctly. “I miss cooking and cleaning, too.” She added.

As Lydia and I changed into our dusty, dirty, saggy, baggy, stained and distressed mode of dress for an afternoon of outdoor enterprises, she commented, “This outfit makes me feel like I’m ten. Because this is how I dressed when I was ten.”

I looked her up and down, taking in her puppy-covered fleece sweatshirt and faded denims before I responded. “This outfit makes me feel thirty, because this is how I dressed when I was thirty.” I tossed my classy flats aside and pulled on my no-longer-white tennis shoes.

Lydia rolled her eyes and let out a huge chicken squawk. A very good one, in my opinion.

I raised my eyebrows. “A chicken?”

She snorted. “A chicken laying an egg.”

“Because,” I tried that one on for size, “that’s how you dressed when you were a chicken laying an egg?”

Some things are only funny to sisters.

In the next instant she’d drawn her hair up into a poofy bun. “Who do I look like?” she asked, critically eyeing her reflection in the mirror.

I made a very reasonable attempt at a guess. “A chicken?”

“No,” she rolled her eyes again. “It’s a sticktight.”

I blinked. “A sticktight?”

“Well, no,” she huffed. “That’s not the right word, but it’s like sticktight.”

I blinked a second time. “Like sticktight?”

She made a helpless gesture. “You know. It sounds like ‘sticktight’ but it’s a different word.”

If I only blinked twice in the course of a conversation, my eyes would get very dry, so I blinked again.

“It’s like when a person is stuck in a box.”

And the light came on in the dusty attic of my brain. “Oh, you mean a stereotype?”

Pleasure oozed out every pore in her body and she beamed at me endearingly. “Yes! It’s like a stereotype holiness hairstyle.”

My mind came alive with a mental image—a sticktight decked out in a poofy, holiness hairstyle. “Sticktight, huh?” I said, and we cracked up again.

If you’ve never been a sister, you just wouldn’t understand.

The barn claimed our attention, as Papa attacked the stored lumber with a vengeance, throwing boards down from the rafters which he deemed “old” or “decrepit.” Discrimination at its finest. “We need to saw them up for firewood,” his voice drifted down from ten feet in the air. Dutifully, I trudged off for “my” pathetic corded girl-size chainsaw. Salvaged from a broken pole-saw. Plugging it in, I primed the engine and fired it up. It gave two wheezing moans and sank into a deep slumber out of which I was unable to rouse it. “Try the Skil saw,” Papa suggested, as another board clattered into the dust at my feet. The Skil saw made more promising noises, but after chewing through a couple of pieces, I heard Papa’s whistle far above me, in the world outside my hearing protection. I stopped sawing and looked up. He looked pensive, a dimple peeking out from the corner of his white goatee. “Why don’t you pile those up and I’ll knock ‘em off with the chainsaw in no time.”

A very sensible idea.

“Were you singing while you fixed supper?” Mom’s voice broke into my thoughts as she handed me a sudsy plate. We’ve been hand-washing the dishes most of the winter this year. Short Josiah, we just don’t make enough mess to merit running the dish-washer.

A second was all the time I needed to make a quick reconaissance into recent history for the answer. “Yes.” (“Lamb of God” to be exact. Before I drifted off into a brown study running mental facts and figures to test the wisdom of drop shipping and web-marketing and supposed success rates. This is undoubtedly the reason that food sometimes gets better done than could be desired, when I am cooking.)

She pointed toward the condensation beading up across the window. “Well, you steamed up the windows.”

In other news, I finally have arrived. At my long-awaited goal. From across the dinner table, Mom plaintively commanded Lydia to stop growing. “You just look so grown up these days!” she complained.

Lydia looked pleased.

“That’s because she’s wearing my clothes,” I reminded the family. Only half a joke.

Papa looked over his plate at Lydia, who had discovered how deliciously distracting the potatoes were, their flavor enhanced by too much attention to herself. “It’s true,” he added his opinion. “They make her look sophisticated.”

In retrospect, perhaps it is not I who have arrived at the goal: sophisticated. It could be Lydia. But at least it is because of my clothes.

Jacindarella’s study of First Peter inspired me, and I made a quick read today. This man’s life and legacy stand out to me as a stark contrast in strength and fragility. From a work-man’s standpoint, I see Peter as the strong, brawny, hard-worker. From a religious stand-point, he was unlettered and untrained. He had a Galilean accent. He smelled like fish. But he was humble. Pliable. Passionate. And devoted. Even though his mouth ran ahead of him like a herald, he meekly took rebuke and sought restoration time and again. Once upon a time, he said, “Depart from me for I am a sinful man!” Later he declared, “Where else would we go? You have the words of eternal life.” In this letter, he pleads with believers to keep in mind the precious blood of Christ and live in holiness. Stop and consider how personal were his words, “The precious blood of Christ.” Peter, the fragile stone, who slept while this precious blood dripped from the body of his praying Lord. Who stood beneath the cross of his Beloved Master, agonizing over his denial, as this precious blood dripped away Christ’s life. Who raced to the tomb and found it empty. Who was restored by the never-ending grace of Jesus and charged to “tend my lambs.” I want to take a closer look at it, drawing the parallels between Peter’s admonishions and the lessons Christ taught him.

For isn’t this what Christ told him? “After you have turned, strengthen your brethren?”

The enemy demands to sift,

Yet in this, is God’s gracious gift,

For Satan, fueled by hate for man,

Is still within God’s sovereign plan.

And God, in kindly love and grace

Has granted Satan time and space

To sift the chaff and purify

That man, his God, might glorify.

For when God turns him back from sin

His soul’s a battle God will win.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

“When you pray, rather let your heart be without words than your words without heart.” ~John Bunyan

I woke up a half dozen times last night, thoughts conceived, ideas forming, plans about to be delivered. Lying in bed, covers pulled up to my cold nose, I regurgitated data I’d subconsciously taken in back in our early days on Ebay, running mental calculations, forming a selling model, and weighing risks. I think I might know a small online business venture that will pay its own way. But it could have waited for its hatching until daylight and left me to slumber in peace.

My father has certainly raised an odd crop of children. Sometimes I look back on the day’s happenings and simply chuckle. Now devoid of sons, he packed his girls up in their coveralls and trekked out in the woods to cut wood. Not so surprising or odd. But when the lawn-tractor, to which we’d attached a trailer to haul logs, showed a tire puddled up into a flat mess, the really interesting began to happen. Lydia and I made a super team, as I jacked up the tractor and she retrieved the green slime and began to take careful measurements. Actually, the jack was too tall for the lawn tractor, and I had to pick up the rear end while she shoved it under. After chocking the wheels, of course. She showed me how to take out the valve needle and pump in the slime, then I hauled out our bubble of compressed air and pumped it back into a healthy donut shape. Viola. Back to business. After we finished, Lydia was dispatched to disconnect the battery cables, to save the battery over the winter months.

I’ve gotten used to doing odd kinds of jobs myself, but the humor is hitting home to me now that my thirteen-year-old sister is out-manning most of the men coming out of Americana college life. And teaching me a few techniques in the process.

"Where’s the salad spinner?” I asked aloud, a floury tortilla-to-be in hand, as I opened cabinet doors and peered into shelves. On the other side of the blanket that partitions the living room from the kitchen, I heard Lydia pause in her piano practicing. But that was the extent of an answer. A salad spinner doesn’t just disappear. Especially not our watermelon-sized contraption. Baffled, I went in search of Mom, the forever reorganizer, to discover if my missing tool had been relegated to the back shelves of some distant cabinet. No such luck. Returning to the kitchen, I opened the door to the cabinet where it should have been, just on a whim. And there it sat, calm and contented, and very obtrusive. Exactly where it had not been five minutes before. “Lydia!” I hollered, and the piano stopped again. “What?” came her innocent response, followed by a giggle. She’d misplaced it while stowing away clean dishes and decided it would be funnier to replace it than to ‘fess up.

I sat before the Lord today feeling entirely empty. Empty, but at rest. I read nothing. I prayed nothing. I thought nothing. But I knew again that I was before the Lord. That there is not a hiding place on earth I could be that He is not, not a word I could whisper that He would not hear, not a tear I could cry or a smile cross my face that He would not see. And I walked away, silent, but calm.

Why do I strain and weep and plead

When Thou art all I want and need?

And Thou art He who hast pursued

Me with Thy mercy, rich and good.

I cannot be more close to Thee

Than Thou hast worked through Calvary

And resting in Thy risen Son

Has made my soul, in Thine, as one.

I wrestle with Thee for Thy grace

And plead to see Thy precious face

When Thou hast lavished grace on me

And promised for eternity

To be my sun, my shield, my light.

‘Tis Thou hast vict’ry in this fight!

Thou won the battle before time.

Why should I need a surer sign?